I don't want to turn on my television on a Friday night and witness a fly-on-the wall soap opera that is Liverpool Football Club, complete with media hype, slick soundbites and enough make-up to put Lily Savage to shame.
I don't want to see the wall of my manager's house being adorned with a huge picture of himself. What the hell does that say about the man who I am struggling to believe is the right one to lead us back to glory?
I don't want to watch my club's managing director walk out of his swanky city centre office and turn into an camp impersonation of Marlon Brando in Easy Rider. I don't care what he gets up to when he's not doing what the club pay him for.
I don't want to see players introducing their families to worldwide television audience in scenes reminiscent of the X-Factor contestants' life journeys. If we want to 'raise our profile' lets do it on the football field, by winning games and leagues and trophies.
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