That was awful. Pitiful, shocking, atrocious, terrible, appalling, dreadful, dire, horrific, horrendous and hideous. Mr Johnson and Sr. Reina, you may step onto the coach with your head held high but the others can't. Don't wake Ryan - he's asleep. He nodded off about fourish.
I can forgive a lack of talent but never desire. Voronin will never be Torres but he came on and put more effort in than Nando did in the previous hour. Mascherano will always have more in his locker than Lucas but I saw only one man making tackles. Ryan Babel will never be…well, he'll just never be. A man with a glorious future behind him.
The worrying aspect is that it was so predictable. Yes, pre-season is for fitness and results are irrelevant but the manner and ease in which the two Spanish teams beat us was cause for concern. It's not ability, its desire. Its pace, overlapping and getting into the box, not just giving it to Gerrard and hoping Nando's got some space. Spurs came out of the traps and were average to begin with until they sniffed the fear and confusion. Skrtel and Carra's clash of heads, a demonstration of that confusion, gave them hope and we slowly we descended into an organisation master plan created by the Keystone Cops.
Much will be made of the Alonso loss but I fail to see how it's that much of an issue. We've lost him a few times already, notably 2007-08 when he was awful, and managed to make do. The real issues are staring us in the face. Spurs had Defoe, Keane, Crouch and Pavlechenko available. We had Torres and Voronin. We have no experience at left back, no cover for the right wing, a stitched up centre back pairing and Ryan Babel. It's not as if we haven't got the money. Keane was never replaced and we made money on Alonso sale so who exactly are we waiting for?
To give Rafa his due he didn't hide with his pre-match comments, admitting we were poor but I'd like to see an explanation for Yossi's absence. He can talk about a knock but if he plays like that when he's had a knock then he should start every game. Yes, there was the predictable diatribe against the referee (another ref with the desperate urge to have his name in the papers. If he's a top ref I'm the Viscount of Marlborough) but we deserved what we got. 0 points and a -1 goal difference.
If we start with Yossi and the centre backs are okay we should be fine against Stoke but we'll need more imagination than we showed on Sunday. We'll need more everything.
Welcome to the new season. Here we go again.
Support Ray Of Hope and help raise funds for former Liverpool legend Ray Kennedy