A Quote We knew had to come one day
"I feel very determined and really hungry" – West London's biggest pie-eater and deflected goal getter Fwank Lumpalard obviously couldn't find a Burger King in Reading. For the record: there is a MaccyD's just outside the ground Fwank.
The Skipper Taking Things far too literally
'Stevie Hoping To Emulate Owen' - The offal Liverpool website, Tuesday lunchtime.
'Steven Gerrard has been ruled out of tomorrow night's Champions League clash in Bordeaux with a minor hamstring injury' - The offal Liverpool website, Tuesday afternoon. Hmm that was quicker than Jose could errrrmmm – call an ambulance.
Extraordinary Stat of the Week
Current Bordeaux midfielder Vladimir Smicer played 19 CL matches for Liverpool between 1999 and 2005, scoring three goals. Now, MV is not one to scoff at such a stat but could Paddy Berger's mate have played that many games in Europe. Suffice to say he did build up to heady climax.
Still at least Vladi reverted to type and sat last night's game out – injured.
That bloke with the microphone
For anyone that watched the game on Sky last night will not have failed to hear some fruit-loop with a microphone chuntering on throughout the game. For those that missed it, it was in fact Ray ‘Butch' Wilkins and not the other idiot on the DIY PA system. (For the TTWAR Reds there – How bad must it have been live! Answers on a postcard to Media View please)
And staying with Butch (or the lost art of punditry)
Media-View is never one to tell people how to their job (greenhouses, stones etc) but MV is of the opinion that the idea of punditry is to enlighten viewers with tactical jargon or dumbfound them with Ronglish. This is not Ray's bag tho'. He brings banality to a new level. By basically saying exactly what has just happened, with out a hint of how whay and what for. In decorating terms ‘Butch' would be a tin of Ronseal. (Oh and he thought JAR played well – sums it up really)
Question of the day
Bolo Zenden – Why?
From the MV archive
Spotted on the wires today: Abel Xavier is to return to football when he plays for Bore'o Ressies v the Liverpool ressies. Keen weirdo watchers will remember that wild haored Abel was banned last year for being found guilty of taking performance enhancing drugs. MV can categorically state AX's performance was never enhanced during his short stay with the reds although it could explain the hair don't.
Quote of the day
"We played well, certainly better than against PSV, but the last 20 metres is tough, Liverpool took advantage of our failure to cause them problems and get in shots.”
The Girondins coach Ricardo Gomez wonders, despite using players that failed at relegated Nottingham Forest and never really shone at the Stadium of Light, Bordeaux aren't cutting the Dijon in the Champions League.
Oh and for the record they were really poor against PSV. (MV had to endure that nightmare whilst in Mexico last month – still at least the Spanish commentary livened it up a bit)
More idiotic puns, humourless sound-bites and downright porky-pies (No Fwank not real ones) sometime soon – If the editor says so.