...and that footballers (some would say particularly Liverpool footballers) are a semi-literate breed of violent, dishonest monsters whose criminal instincts can only be kept in check by a punitive system of suspensions and fines, it is depressingly likely that Daniel Agger's red card against West Brom will not even be appealed, much less rescinded. In what is perhaps a foretaste of things to come, Liverpool will be without the services of the big Dane for three matches. Two of these three will be against members of last year's top three; the third against a well-organised, Martin O'Neill-inspired Sunderland side on the up. A daunting prospect. Luckily, however, Liverpool are a team blessed with strength in depth in this most crucial of areas, even if the best choice for the role is not the most obvious: Martin Kelly.
Assessing the competition
There will be, of course, those die-hard Carragher stalwarts who claim that their man is the automatic choice to slot in alongside Martin Skrtel against City next weekend. They point to his undeniably illustrious career, his many remaining strengths such as his command of the 18-yard box and his positioning, his stellar performances as recently as last season (that block on Torres at the Bridge, anyone?). The truth is, unfortunately, that Carragher's pass selection has never been the best – as those who saw him play under Hodgson will attest – and his lack of pace would be horribly exposed playing a high line against players with the pace of Nasri, Tevez or Balotelli. Undoubted pedigree aside, Carragher can no longer realistically claim to be first-choice replacement for wither of our two centre-backs – much less for Daniel Agger.
The spotlight turns, then, on last summer's new recruit and Fernando Alonso lookalike, Sebastian Coates. For many, he is the obvious candidate to take Agger's place. More composed on the ball than Carragher – albeit still prone to the odd aimless lump upfield – the young Uruguayan's leggy stride gives him the edge in pace over the English veteran. That said, Coates is still comfortably outstripped by City's flyers, Arsenal's new look front line and the wingers of Sunderland. In addition, whilst his propensity for launching himself into last ditch tackles when beaten for speed or skill is impressively successful, it would take just one mistimed foot to propel the team into what could rapidly become a real defensive crisis. An able general, a fearless tackler and accurate with his feet, Coates remains a fine prospect, particularly when Skrtel is unavailable. Yet he is not the man to fill Liverpool's Agger-shaped hole; Kelly is.
Kelly's suitability
Kelly's time spent at right-back has given him a number of attributes shared with Agger. The experience of beating an opponent with the ball and the ability to do it again; the the advantage of being extremely comfortable with the ball on the ground; an affinity with the final third (or Rodgers' zone G) which to most centre-backs is a misty, far-off land glimpsed only at free-kicks, corners, and when ends are swapped at half-time. Further to his attacking savoir-faire, Kelly is a very capable defender – sometimes to the detriment of his play at right-back. Although it might seem slightly incongruous given the lauding of his attacking ability above, Kelly is too much of a natural defender to be a great wing-back. Often his final ball is poor, or his shot lacks conviction. While the time spent bombing up and down the wing will provide him with the experience he needs to get into the penalty area and be a nuisance to the opposition when he does, playing at centre-back would relieve him of the pressure to deliver a decent end product. Not only that, but it would allow the two out-and-out wing-backs in the side, Enrique and Johnson, the freedom to get forward and form a decent playing relationship with the rest of the creative players in the team. Kelly is also more comfortable at sitting in the wide position demanded of centre-backs by Rodgers' system, and has the pace to get across and cover should the need arise – as well as being no pushover in the air.
Conclusion
Agger's suspension could have been (and for that matter, could well be) a disaster for Liverpool given the character and calibre of the teams they will be playing against next. Yet the nightmare vision of either Carragher or Coates lumbering ineffectually after a fleet-footed attacker does not need to become a reality. Liverpool have a solution in the form of a young man who, if played in his correct position, could become a great defender in the Alan Hansen mould; Martin Kelly.