For the time being we'll ignore the claims that he can't go out in public without some level of harassment occurring. We'll ignore the fact that one of the incidents that appalled him most, the incident where a group of children asked to have their photo taken with him and then pretended to bite him, aping his assault on Ivanovic to the disgust of Luis' wife, happened by all accounts in the Trafford Centre.
That's the Trafford Centre which, last time I looked, is in Manchester. Easy solution? Shop in Liverpool One but we're ignoring this fact at the moment.
Luis Suarez wants to leave Liverpool because he wants to leave England. He wants to move to Real Madrid. Have we established this fact? Good, lets crack on.
Liverpool have quite happily let it drift into the public domain that they will accept no less than the £40m release clause that is built into Suarez' contract and that will only allow clubs to talk to the player, it doesn't guarantee that we will sell. The feeling is that we will be looking for about £50m before we'll consider doing business.
The thing is; Real aren't making any moves. This is obviously a very Real Madrid way of doing business. They can do anything they like because they are Real Madrid and everybody else isn't. The world, therefore, revolves around them.
So, to get up to speed with the situation. Luis Suarez wants to go to Spain and Liverpool want about 40-50 million quid for him.
Why then do Arsenal think a £30m bid is a realistic move?
Arsenal are, for anybody that's unsure at this point, based in London. Which is in England. Which still has the evil English press. It actually has far more of them because that's where they live.
Here's a theory or two for you;
1. As the Higuain deal stumbles it's way across the summer, Arsenal have decided to show Real Madrid that it's actually a buyers market and that it's the London based club that hold the cards in this deal; they can pull out at any moment and move for another target leaving Real with an unsettled player. They may well be attempting to force Madrid's hand. This obviously doesn't take into account the idea that they might on succeed in proving to Real that they can afford to go higher on this deal than they are willing to at the moment. Nor does it take into account that they may wish to pair the two as their new strike force.
Which is where theory 2 comes in.
Arsenal have no intention of signing Suarez. They know that there's no chance of him moving to another English club. They know that as long as they bid under the release clause figure that they are in no danger at all of ever having to stump up any of this cash that they say they have to spend.
There is every chance that they may be using the tactic that other clubs have used in the past; appear to throw your hat into the ring for a marquee signing, watch the deal not come off and turn to your fans, palms spread wide, smiling and saying "we tried lads, you saw that we tried but Madrid wanted silly money for Higuain and Liverpool rejected our bid out of hand" - it ends up as 'just one of those summers, we got some of our targets but not the big name that we were after' (at this very moment there may well be an Arsenal fan writing a piece with very similar sentiments using the name Mkhtyrian, obviously they are wrong)
So there you go. That's my conspiracy theory. Arsenal are just trying to convince their fans that they can still compete with the big boys in world football.
And if the end of August sees Luis Suarez return from his suspension still in the Premier League and still in a red shirt but one that belongs to a different team?
Well, my looking foolish for writing this will be the least of my concerns.
Check out Ian's blog Mumbling Into The Void and follow his mumblings on Twitter here.
Want to write a guest blog for LFC Online? Get in touch
Latest Forum Discussion