90min's Definitive European Power Rankings 2020/21: Week 5

Following a week in which:

- Marcus Rashford scored THREE goals in one game.

- Bayern Munich scored FIVE goals in one game.

- Ajax scored 13 GOALS IN ONE GAME.

We at 90min are going way back to 1967 to nab quotes from some of the greatest films of the 1960s - and watch Paul Newman eat 50 eggs - and use them to rank the 15 best teams in Europe:

15. Real Madrid (Re-Entry)

"I'M HYSTERICAL! I'M HYSTERICAL! I'M HYS-I'M WET! I'M WET! I'M HYSTERICAL AND I'M WET!...I'M IN PAIN! ...AND I'M WET! ...AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL!" (The Producers)

Real Madrid fans are a hysterical bunch, aren't they?

After the defeat to Shakhtar Donetsk the sky was falling in on itself and Zinedine Zidane was a 'fraud m8', then Zidane was heralded as a genius for besting Barca in El Clasico, andddd now he's back to being a fraud 'wHo OnLy WoN tHe ChAmPiOnS lEaGuE bEcAuSe oF Cr7" after the draw with Borussia Monchengladbach.

14. Tottenham Hotspur (Down 6)

"I feel like we've died and gone to heaven - only we've had to climb up." (Barefoot in the Park)

"And the NEEEWWWWWWWW Champions League belt holders: S...S...C NAPOLIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

Yes, that's right, with their win over high-flying Real Sociedad on Thursday night Napoli became the new, reigning, defending, undisputed, Champions League belt holders.

When you consider just how many COVID cases the club have had to deal with in recent weeks, that is a minor miracle.

3. Ajax (New Entry)

"Your Honour, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, Max Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life." (The Producers)

Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Ajax are the most selfish football team I've ever seen in my life.

This past week they scored 13 unanswered goals against VVV-Venlo.

13-0. That was the final scoreline.

They didn't even let VVV score one measly goal.

Selfish.

2. AC Milan (-)

"I want to say one word to you. Just one word."
"Yes, sir."
"Are you listening"
"Yes, I am.
"Plastics."
"Exactly how do you mean?"
"There's a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?" (The Graduate)

I want to say two words to you. Just two words.

Rafael Leao.

There's a great future in Milan for Rafael Leao.

He's started the season superbly with three goals and three assists, and he looks like he's only going to get better.

1. Bayern Munich (-)

"You're good!"
"I ain't good. I'm the best!"
"And modest!" (Bonnie and Clyde)

Look, Joshua Kimmich ain't just 'good', he's the best.

Kimmich is the best footballer in the world right now.

He's better than Robert Lewandowski, he's better than Lionel Messi, he's better than Kevin De Bruyne, he's better than Cristiano Ronaldo.

He is the best.