Neither Scudamore nor any other salesman could have persuaded anybody who saw Liverpool disdainfully dismiss Watford at Vicarage Road yesterday by a margin that should have been three times bigger of the truth of that claim.
Shame on him. Adrian Boothroyd, the Watford manager, at least came clean in his view of the mismatch. “We choked today,” he admitted. “We just didn't cope with them. I will not dodge this performance, the players and myself have to be accountable for what goes on on our pitch. Up to now a Watford team has gone out there to prove even if we do not have great players, we show heart and soul and passion.”
Boothroyd also spoke of an improved bid of £8m coming in on Friday night for his 21-year-old forward Ashley Young, probably from West Ham United, which was being discussed by the board.
The surprise was that it took 34 minutes for Bellamy to score. Crouch had stolen the ball from Gavin Mahon, and then prodded it past Malky Mackay before shooting. From the rebound off goalkeeper Ben Foster, Bellamy was close at hand to notch his sixth Premiership goal.
The Liverpool defence did occasionally invite Watford to get in behind them. It happened more than once for Tommy Smith, coming in from the right, but in the 40th minute he took too long to control the ball, allowed Daniel Agger to close in, and the shot was deflected low and wide.
Just seconds later, Liverpool were two up. A long clearance was headed on by Kuyt, Bellamy this time had a shot beaten down by the left hand of Foster, and a beaming Crouch finished with a simple side-footed.
Half-time, and only two goals down, and the sense of humour that sustains a small club, who probably won promotion too early, showed itself. “Here come the rest of the Golden Boys,” said the public announcer. Evidently roasted by their manager's half-time rant, Watford fashioned a chance within three minutes of the restart when Young, with a right-foot volley from 23 yards, obliged Jose Manuel Reina to reach high to force it out.
But, once again, the riposte was instant. A flowing move, a rare one, dispatched the ball via Steven Gerrard, Fabio Aurelio, then Bellamy to Crouch, and for the third time the finishing touch was easy.
Where, oh where was the equality? Where was the fighting spirit? Mackay, given responsibility to show the young golden boys how, alas used his elbow so blatantly on Xabi Alonso that it was abrogation of duty for the referee to show no card of any colour.
There was one, only one, moment of true Watford spirit and soul. It came just after the hour when left-back Jordan Stewart, no doubt having given up on his forwards, attempted a dipping shot from 30 yards. It deceived Reina, and frankly the goalkeeper first saw it as it was coming back past him off the crossbar.
And then out into the damp evening air. “Watford, Pride of England” read the words on a flag draped around the shoulders of a young fan. Somebody at least keeps the faith, although he also should steer clear of confessionals.
Star Man: Craig Bellamy (Liverpool)