GERARD HOULLIER flew to Germany yesterday admitting he had defied doctor's orders to venture into Europe again with Liverpool.
The Anfield manager had been given the all-clear to resume his job following a life-saving heart operation. But he revealed how the surgeon who saved him still had reservations about the trip to Bayer Leverkusen, where Liverpool will defend a 1-0 first-leg lead in tonight's Champions League quarter-final.
It was the first time the French coach had travelled with his team since his 11-hour operation in October.
And Houllier admitted his specialist took some convincing before allowing him to go.
"In an ideal world my surgeon told me he would have wished I had waited," explained Houllier. "But at the same time he sensed I was getting a bit itchy.
"He knew I wanted to get back and even though he wanted me to wait, he said as long as there were no major complications he was happy that I'm back in business.
"This is the first away game for me and I am happy to be making the trip, first and foremost because it means I am alive.
"The doctor knew how keen I was to be back and in the end he was happy to let me go."
The Liverpool manager insists that despite his doctor's reservations, he was 100 per cent fit to return to the job and had decided to come back before the end of the season because he wanted to share in the sense of excitement that is gripping Anfield.
Liverpool are chasing a Premiership and Champions League double and Houllier is confident they have the strength of character to succeed.
"I said to the boys I wanted to be back to share in these moments with them because they have done so much to give themselves a chance of winning trophies," he said.
"I am proud of them. They have done so well because they have shown a tremendous work ethic and a team ethic to go far.
"The success we have is a team thing and I always wanted to come back so I could share in that.
"The European game is a great night and I really want to be part of that."